Posts tagged prostitution

I know that we are supposed to be strong, that we are supposed to lift our head high and walk through life in this majestic I-give-no-fucks way but sometimes, especially lately (more often than I’d like to admit), I feel a sense of defeat. It’s a new feeling but one I’ve been harboring deep within my spirit for a while now. I don’t think it’s necessarily linked to the lifestyle I live but more so to the dissatisfaction and alienation that it can bring along with it. I feel like no one understand me and it creates this tension that makes me feel like an outsider. I am surrounded by people but yet I feel all alone. I am on top of the world in my own way but I am living in my own inferno, a personal hell of sorts in another, it’s a fucked up dichotomy. I need a vacation from a vacation from a vacation. I need to find myself.

said the famed French poet, Baudelaire, in 1887. I am a work of art; living and breathing, on display, but also on sale. I don’t consider myself a prostitute per say, but my affection and attention have a negotiable price. I think almost everything in this world has a price, it’s a strict consumer-fueled world and I am the owner of my own industry. I don’t sell myself short, I’m not a grimy street-walker and I’m definitely not what Americans would think of when they hear the word prostitute, or probably even sugar baby for that matter. I don’t think I’ll always define myself as belonging to this world, just as those in every profession have a prime retiring age. Any market based primarily on one’s own body and beauty brings the retiring age much earlier than any other profession. I don’t mind stroking ego if my bank account is stroked in return and I don’t see anything wrong with doing so. Some wives’ goal for making their husbands happy is a new car or a vacation, mine is exactly the same without having to put up with them every day. I like the idea of allowances and being able to ask for expensive things I’d never buy for myself. I deserve a little bit of glamour in my life and if this is my way of going about it, I see nothing wrong with it.

xo,

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